A Young Bad Ass – Go Aaron!

One of my writing students, an eighth grade boy, wrote a personal narrative about his challenging life, and he wanted to share it with you.

 

AGAINST THE ODDS

Aaron Rau, age 13
Aaron Rau, age 13

Growing up in a garage from age 4 (unsure of where I lived before that), we slept on mattresses on the ground. My parents usually slept, so I had to feed myself, which meant I had to pry off the pop-tops from canned foods with my small fingers. If I got thirsty, my one choice was to grab a bottle of Pediasure, and the only thing I had to entertain myself was a Nintendo DS.

When I got to kindergarten, I realized for the first time how different I was than other kids. They could sit on the carpet and listen to the teacher without their legs twitching, ready to take off running. They seemed to understand directions that I couldn’t listen to long enough to be able to follow.

By second grade, I lived in a motorhome at the Sweetwater Campsite with my mom and dad. I used to go from trailer to trailer asking if anyone had a child my age to play with. Usually, the other campers would spend a week or so, and most of them were elderly, so I was lonely a lot. My teacher that year, though, was an angel in disguise.

Mrs. Green wasn’t too demanding, and she didn’t seem to care that I couldn’t sit still. Instead, she suggested my mom take me to the doctor to see if I had attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).  Sure enough, after several appointments, the pediatrician diagnosed me with ADHD. No wonder I hadn’t been able to keep my mind or body in one place for very long. When I started taking medication, focusing became less impossible, but I could tell people knew something was different about me. They didn’t say anything, but the other kids had no interest in playing with me.

In the meantime, my family left the campground after the 30-day limit, and my parents parked the motorhome in a friend’s front yard in National City. Shortly after we moved, I woke up on the couch in the friends’ living room to see a bunch of cops. I ran outside to the motorhome to hide, but the door was locked. When I tried to get through the back window, a tight grip on my ankles stopped me. I looked over my shoulder to see two police officers, one holding onto each leg. They pulled me out of the window and carried me to the police car across the street. The next thing I knew, I sat alone in a room with kid-sized chairs and an adult-sized desk.

The police had brought me to the Polinsky Children’s Center in San Diego, which is supposed to be a safe place for kids in danger. I found out later that someone at the house called the police when one of the adults got drunk and pulled out a gun. For a month, I lived at the center until my grandma rescued me. If it weren’t for her, I’d be living in a foster home. The truth is: I’m not sure what the deal is with my parents, and I don’t think I want to know.

When my grandmother enrolled me in the elementary school near her condo, we discovered my academic skills were far behind my third-grade classmates. Since that time, she has done everything to help me become successful. She got me on an independent education plan (IEP), so I could catch up in my studies. She contacted Mrs. Green, my teacher from my old school, who gave me private math lessons. In sixth grade, my grandma hired a writing coach (Trish) to teach me how to write essays and short stories. To help me fit in with other kids, Grandma got me into Boy Scouts. Most important, my grandma has taught me about responsibility, integrity, and how I can do anything I set my mind to, including be the first in my family to go to college.

I want to become a game designer because with a video game, imagination is the limit. Developing characters and storylines to challenge players’ minds and reflexes would be the ultimate way to make a living, and I would actually have Fun while working. Going to  Full Sail University, a school known for programming degrees and game design, is one of my major goals in life. For practice, I like to plan plotlines, new characters, and equipment or abilities for fending off evil. By the time I graduate from high school, Full Sail will accept me for making my own characters and environments to incorporate into games or graphic novels. Someday I will be a video game designer making games for the community to enjoy.

 

 

One Mom’s Ultimate Example

Margarita Jimenez
Margarita Jimenez

Margarita Jimenez’s father unexpectedly passed away when she was eleven years old. Her mother and three older siblings wondered how they would survive in Torreón, a desert city in Coahuila, México. Margarita remembers her own grief, but more vivid is the pain and fear of those around her. She had always known money was tight, but without her father to provide for them, soon bills went unpaid and food became scarce.

 

Sadly, the wages her brothers procured from part-time jobs, while they attended the local university, couldn’t meet expenses. Her mother forbade the boys to quit school to work more hours. It had been a point of pride for their father, a humble handy man, that their sons would earn college degrees. A few months after their father’s death, Margarita’s 18-year-old sister resolved to go to the United States, determined to find work and send home money.

 

As an undocumented immigrant to the U.S., Margarita’s sister encountered obstacles which sometimes put her life in jeopardy. Earning enough to support herself as well as provide for her family in Mexico became overwhelming. Margarita’s mother couldn’t bear the burden she had become to her children any longer. The 42-year-old widow packed up Margarita and migrated to the United States to find work cooking and cleaning, two skills she’d spent decades honing while raising a large family.

 

Arriving in San Diego was so alien that Margarita’s first eleven years in Mexico seemed a distant memory. Nonsensical sounds came out of people’s mouths. No matter how their voices grew louder or they repeated themselves, she couldn’t figure out what they tried to tell her. The other kids had alternatively lighter or darker skin and eyes than her friends in Coahuila. She encountered cultures, religions and lifestyles she didn’t understand.

 

In time, Margarita made friends. She learned to communicate in English and became accustomed to living in the United States. She discovered, though, that after she completed middle and high school, as an undocumented student, she wouldn’t be able to afford to attend college, the way her brothers had in Mexico. No way could her mother scrape together enough money to pay the much higher tuition for non-resident students on a housekeeper’s wages.

 

After high school, Margarita took a job at a delicatessen. She worked extra shifts, countless hours, to earn as much money as possible. One day, she would reach her dream of going to college to get a degree in Business Administration.

 

 

By the time she was 20 years old, she obtained her legal residency in the U.S., but by then, she had married her husband, David, and delivered her daughter, Samantha. She continued working as her family grew; her son, David Junior, was born two years later, and in four more years, Karla arrived. It seemed Margarita would have to give up her dream to pursue higher education. With a family of five, she had to work to help with household expenses.

 

David, Jr.; David, Sr; Margarita, Samantha, Karla
David, Jr.; David, Sr; Margarita, Samantha, Karla

Then fifteen years after high school, with encouragement from her husband, Margarita decided to go back to school. In 2010, she enrolled in classes at the University of Phoenix to earn her Bachelor’s of Science degree in Business. She juggled school, work, and family, and more than once, she wondered if she could keep up the frenetic pace. Her husband helped in every way possible; picking up kids from school, taking them to soccer games and practices. He also took over his uncle’s landscaping business on weekends to make extra money, so she could work fewer hours. Their children were understanding when she had to cancel or opt out of family gatherings to complete assignments.

 

Although going to school, studying, writing essays in her second language, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, doing laundry, and trying to meet her children’s needs left little time for sleep, Margarita’s family was her motivation for finishing her classes and earning her degree. She wanted to show her children the importance of getting a college education by being their example. Along the way, she changed her major and received her Bachelors of Science degree in Finance in July, 2014.

 

“That day I will never forget, seeing my family cheering for me [at the graduation ceremony],” Margarita said. “They were proud of my accomplishment.”

Margarita graduation

Margarita credits her tenacity to her hard-working mother and supportive husband. Her mom modeled how to be a strong woman, to appreciate every blessing in life, and to never give up. David senior’s optimism, belief in her, and his commitment to their family got Margarita through those times when the finish line, holding that college degree in her hand, seemed too far to reach.

 

 

Since graduation last June, Margarita received a raise at the accounting firm where she works. The most satisfying accomplishment, though, is the light she sees in her children’s eyes. The kids have historically done well in school, but now they have witnessed, first hand, how goals and dreams can come true.

 

“Regardless of how old you are or your background, everyone deserves to be successful in life,” Margarita points out. “Challenges may [arise]…but don’t give up…obstacles only make us stronger.”

An Artist with a Samurai Spirit: Composer, Playwright, Eric Scot Frydler

Eric Scot Frydler
Eric Scot Frydler

Contrary to common belief, children diagnosed with autism can grow up to lead fulfilling, successful lives. Composer, playwright, Eric Scot Frydler proves that life’s challenges can cripple us or make us stronger.

Diagnosed with autism as a child, when little was known about the neurological disorder, Frydler had trouble relating to peers. His teachers described him as an “enigma” and a “non-conformist.” At age five, however, he made a beautiful discovery: music spoke to him. Music became his way to express himself as well as connect with others.

Originally from Queens, New York, as a teenager, Frydler publicly played a song he had written on piano. Although impressed with Frydler’s performance, Lazlo Halasz, composer and founder of the New York City Opera, could see the boy didn’t fit the mold for the usual music school. Instead, Halasz invited Frydler to audit masters’ classes. Throughout his high school years, Frydler soaked up advanced music language at Stony Brook and Julliard, two colleges well-known for their excellence. This unconventional education prepared Frydler for composing music professionally.

Frydler’s can-do spirit and creative view of the world presented unexpected paths. In his late twenties, after a project for composing music fell through in Los Angeles, he answered an advertisement that read: “Child Genius Wanted” – to design toys for Mattel.  He got the job and developed Roboto, a transparent robot, part of the Masters of the Universe series. He also wrote stories and comic books about toys like He-Man, Popples, and Rainbow Brite. His name still appears on the Advanced Concepts Inventors list for both Hasbro and Mattel.

However, Frydler has found success in pursuing what he loves most: theater and music.

 “To this day,” he says in describing his creative process, “when I am envisioning and imagining, I go to that world inside my head, tempered by the craft I’ve acquired as a writer and composer.”

Frydler won the Aubrey Award, the equivalent to the Tony Awards for San Diego County Theater, for producing Dracula with Rosemary

Scene from Magical Forest
Scene from Magical Forest
Magical Forest
Magical Forest

Harrison, and he composed the original score. Magical Forest, performed at the Coronado Playhouse, is a musical he wrote that emphasizes belief in oneself and conservation. He has also composed music for film including: Sheriff of Contention, a western; Vampyre, a music video; Sweet Amazon, a documentary, and The Last Supper, a film which aired on Trinity Broadcasting. Currently, he is the Producing Artistic Director  at Carbon Based Life Theater in Carlsbad, California.

“People have had difficulties throughout history dealing with exceptional people . . .” Frydler points out. “Our challenge as a society is to find a way to communicate with them, not ostracize them . . . but to interact with them and benefit from each other.”

Throughout the years, Frydler believes his music has been an advantage in helping him to learn how to communicate with others. In fact, he swears he won his wife’s heart playing an original piece called “In Dreams” for her on a grand piano at the Wyndham Hotel at Emerald Plaza in San Diego. When asked about his success in the face of autism,

“Hideo Sakata, a Japanese martial artist, once told me I have Samurai spirit,” Frydler says. “I never give up. Never!”

“Many people accept other people’s self-limiting beliefs, and that is a mistake. You have to be true to yourself, to be fearless.” Frydler advises. “Never let someone else interfere with what you’re here to do.”

Hey, that’s good advice for all of us!

Improve Your Attitude; Improve Your Life

By Rodolpho Costa

Rodolfo Costa
Rodolfo Costa
Changing and improving our attitude can help us change the way we see and do things. I have learned that apositive mental attitude is far more important than aptitude to succeed in life. I also learned that it is not easy at first because we all have been conditioned since we were born to see and do things and in many cases, to think a certain way. But with practice, we can improve our attitude.

Here are my top ten tips to build and maintain a positive mental attitude:

  1. Stay away from negative and pessimistic people.
  2. Do not complain and blame others for your mistakes, problems, misfortunes and setbacks.You are responsible for your actions and consequences, you are responsible for your life and circumstances.
  3. Be more in touch with your thoughts and feelings, but do not get carried away by your worries. No matter what, make the conscious decision to start your day, everyday, in a positive and optimistic way.
  4. Always work on maintaining a positive attitude about things.We all know that we can not always control what happens in our lives, but we can always control how we react to what happens in our lives. This will help you build the courage, confidence and motivation to change, improve and find a solution to your problem.
  5. Learn to adapt.Things change, circumstances change. Adjust yourself and your efforts to what it is presented to you so you can respond accordingly. Never see change as a threat, because it can be an opportunity to learn, to grow, evolve and become a better person.
  6. Face your reality with courage.Take a good and careful look at your situation and allow yourself time to think. See where you are now and decide what you want and where you want to be. Make up your mind, build the enthusiasm, and go for it. Realize that you have the ability and the potential to change yourself and to change things.
  7. Concentrate on the beautiful things in your life.Never compare yourself with others. You are unique; there is nobody else like you and you are capable of doing great and wonderful things with you life.
  8. Look for better or different ways to do things. Allow yourself to see beyond what others think is possible, wise or practical. Be proactive and be part of a solution, not part of a problem.
  9. Be in charge of your life. Do not think and assume that what happens to you is your destiny. It is not! If you think that way you will give a message to your brain to stop looking for ideas or solutions to your problems. Do not make excuses to relieve yourself from your responsibilities. Keep in mind, if you do not control your life and future somebody else will, whether you like it or not.
  10. Work on your attitude and learn to control it. Always remember, if you are not careful, your attitude will control you.

Rodolfo Costa was born in Lima, Peru. At age nineteen, without knowing what to expect, he said goodbye to his parents and immigrated to the United States. Through difficulties and joys, advice received and mistakes made, he learned to embrace the world in a positive way to become a successful business owner, realtor, teacher, and always a student. He lives in Northern California.

In deepest gratitude, he shares his earned wisdom in his inspirational and motivational collection Advice My Parents Gave Me and Other Lessons I Learned From My Mistakes. Check out Rodolfo’s book on Amazon!

Reblogged from Inspire Me Today (an awesome website, always great for a pick-me-up :-))

Small Town Girl Makes a Big City Difference

Elizabeth Escobar
Elizabeth Escobar

Born in El Centro, California to a 17-year-old mother and a father who was barely 21, Elizabeth Escobar’s parents were too young to know themselves, much less take care of a small child. Due to her dad’s quick temper, Elizabeth witnessed a great deal of domestic violence, though she spent considerable time with her paternal grandparents. When she became old enough to go to kindergarten, school became her refuge. Learning new things excited Elizabeth and provided distraction from her harsh reality at home.

 

Then in first grade, a boy started tormenting her, constantly calling her names because she was chubby. In second grade, the bully’s taunting became worse when her teacher berated Elizabeth in front of the class for not being able to make it across the monkey bars. That same teacher continued to chide her publically in the fourth grade, stripping the little self-esteem Elizabeth had managed to hold onto. Her mom visited the school to talk to the teacher several times, but the woman refused to stop forcing Elizabeth to hang from the bars until she fell off, all the while scolding her for not being able to grasp the next rung (after decades of mistreating children, this teacher is finally under investigation, according to an aunt who still lives in El Centro).

 

During this time, Elizabeth walked into the kitchen to get something to drink, just as her father flew into one of his rages. He backhanded her in the face, giving her a bloody nose that took what seemed like hours for her and her mother to quell. She remembers her mom crying, holding towels soaked in blood. The incident gave her mother the strength and resolve to leave her dad.

 

At age nine, Elizabeth moved into her maternal grandparents’ house in a smaller town. The first week at her new K-8 public school, a girl with a reputation for picking on people chose Elizabeth for her next target. Elizabeth couldn’t believe she’d captured the attention of yet another bully. At the end of the day, the girl and her group of minions stared at Elizabeth walking toward them from outside the school gates. Elizabeth knew the smirks on their faces meant trouble, so she turned around and headed back to her classroom. As she was about to escape inside the door, the bully caught up and punched Elizabeth in the back. Her new fourth-grade teacher, Mrs. Murua, heard the commotion and took off to find the attacker. The occasional grumbles from other kids, accusing Elizabeth of “snitching,” had been worth being left alone from that day forward.

 

Elizabeth flourished after that rocky beginning. She met some of her all-time favorite teachers at that neighborhood school.

 

“Mrs. Mura protected, mentored, and saw something in me. She…was my angel…who changed my life…followed by Mr. Galindo, Mr. Colunga, and Mr. Lozano,” Elizabeth recalls. “Thank God I had teachers who looked out for me!”

 

Elizabeth graduated from the eighth grade as the class valedictorian.

 

In the meantime, her dad got help to learn to control his anger, so her parents got back together, and her home life improved. Her mom went back to school to become a licensed vocational nurse (LVN), and her dad enrolled in the Correctional Officer’s Academy.

  “What I went through during my childhood made me realize…an education was so important because no one could take that away from me,” Elizabeth explains. “It was the only way I could become independent.”

 

Elizabeth did well in high school and attended the local community college. She held two jobs to support herself and to pay for classes, since her parents didn’t have the means to contribute financially. At one of her jobs at a fast food restaurant, her sociology professor used to show up and sit at a table near where she’d be cleaning. “You are too good for this,” he would tell her. “You need to leave the [Imperial] valley.”

 

In three years, Elizabeth earned an Associate of Arts degree with honors and had decided to take her professor’s advice. Although the Criminal Justice department at San Diego State University (SDSU) was severely impacted, she applied anyway – and she got accepted to the program!

 

She attended SDSU part time and worked full time until she earned a Bachelor’s Degree in Criminal Justice in 2004. During her senior year, she completed an internship with the County of San Diego Public Defender’s Office, where she works today.

 

Elizabeth with her Hermanita, Erika
Elizabeth with her Hermanita, Erika

In the Public Defender’s office, Elizabeth had mentioned her desire to help kids, especially girls, “not to get caught up in the system.” One of her co-workers saw an ad in the Union Tribune asking for mentors to participate in the Hermanitas® (Little Sisters) program in 2006, an affiliate of MANA, a nationwide Latina organization.

 

That was almost eight years ago.

 

Since then, Elizabeth has been mentor for up to three young Latinas at a time.

This year, Erika, Elizabeth’s Hermanita since sixth grade, will graduate from high school, so the two of them are busily planning SAT dates,

Elizabeth and Erika on the field at Petco Park
Elizabeth and Erika on the field at Petco Park

revising Erika’s personal statement to apply for colleges, and making lists of possibilities for the institution where Erika will begin her next education adventure a year from now.

 

And Elizabeth has become the Director for Hermanitas®, determined to give as many girls as possible the tools and support to succeed in today’s world.

 

Elizabeth has powered through adversity and found dreams were attainable if she stayed focused and moved through her fears. Along the way, mentors helped her to create a path for her future. They provided advice, and most of all, they believed in her. Now Elizabeth returns that support and love to others, so they, too, will find themselves living successful, fulfilling lives.

 

We’d love to hear from you! If you or someone you know has a story of success through grit and determination, or you have something to say about our small town girl who touches more lives than she’d ever imagined, please write a comment below, and share this with your friends. J

Livin’ Life Against the Odds

Sandy Barajas
Sandy Barajas

Sandy Barajas grew up in Barrio Logan, one of the toughest neighborhoods in San Diego. Since her father usually worked out of town in construction, her mother practically raised Sandy and her two siblings. She remembers her uncle, Ken Seaton Msemaji, taking carloads of nieces and nephews to the roller skating rink, so they could have a blast just being kids. At Barrio Station, the community recreation center, Sandy enjoyed games with her friends. She also played guitar and performed with the Barrio Station Mariachi.

 

Then at age 16, Sandy’s world turned upside-down. “I have [overcome] many obstacles,” she says, “…but [discovering I was pregnant] was definitely the most challenging, scariest, life-changing event.”

Coming from a home where they never talked about sex, Sandy grew up misinformed and never believed it would happen to her. Suddenly she faced dropping out of high school and the enormous responsibility of raising a child.

 

After her son, Rogelio, was born, Uncle Ken encouraged her to go back to school. He’d always been an advocate in the community, including working alongside Cesar Chavez, and she respected him. With support from family and friends to watch her baby, Sandy enrolled in the Cesar Chavez Continuation Adult Center where she earned her high school diploma. Many, attended her graduation as her success had been a group effort.

 

Uncle Ken presented Sandy with her first real dictionary and convinced her a college degree was within her reach. Who cared how many years it would take? What greater example could she provide her son than to watch her work hard to realize a dream?

 

Often taking one class at a time, five years later, Sandy received her Associative Arts degree at Southwestern Community College. Having experienced two education successes, she decided to register at National University where she could complete an entire class every month until she achieved a Bachelor of Science degree in Criminal Justice.

Sandy Interviewed on T.V. to talk about Hair Daisies
Sandy Interviewed on T.V. to talk about Hair Daisies

 

Today, Sandy works for the County of San Diego, and she owns a business with her sister called Hair Daisies where they make getting treated for head lice an economic, pleasant experience for kids and adults. Most recently, she entered the pre-law program at the University of San Diego and plans to become a lawyer.

 

And knowing Sandy, she’ll make that happen.

 

Sandy’s advice:

  • NEVER GIVE UP.
  • Never let anyone else dictate your dreams.
  • Continue to better yourself every day.
  • When you feel like you’ve reached a dead end, there is always a path and a light waiting to guide you, so be proactive in seeking thedirection that will get you closer to reaching your goals.
  • Find an organization to get involved in the community, where you can meet successful people who offer inspiration and encouragement.
  • The rest is up to you!
Sandy and Rogelio at SDSU graduation 2014
Sandy and Rogelio at SDSU graduation 2014

 

Sandy’s son, Rogelio, has followed his mother’s example by earning a Bachelor’s of Science degree in National Security and Conflict Resolution from San Diego State University. He works for a non-profit organization in San Diego and plans to pursue a masters’ degree. He also takes classes to learn Chinese and hopes to teach English in China in the near future.

 

See? Dreams really are possible, though reaching them usually takes a lot of hard work.

 

Thanks, Sandy, for sharing your story!

 

We’d love to read your comments regarding Sandy’s experience, or hear about your own road to reaching a goal, whether you’re still working on it or you’ve crossed the finish line.

One Event Can Change a Whole Life

Sarah Noelle
Sarah Noelle

Sarah Noelle had known the rule, no boys allowed in the house without a parent at home, but she let a guy she knew come over anyway.

 

He was just a friend, totally harmless – until he raped her.

 

Sarah blamed herself. How could she let this happen? Shame isolated her from friends and family. She wanted to tell someone, but the words wouldn’t – couldn’t – come out of her mouth.

 

By the time Sarah went off to college, she believed love and respect were for other people, not a Christian girl who allowed her innocence to get stolen – by a supposed friend. She found a relationship to support her self-loathing, with a guy who berated her, who made her feel less than human. She knew she deserved it.

 

Within two months, Sarah became pregnant. Desperate, she set up an appointment to get an abortion and cried all week. Then the Monday before her Friday appointment at the clinic, her phone rang.

“When I prayed for you just now, I got this overwhelming urge to call,” said her mother’s voice.

“Honey, are you pregnant?” came her dad’s voice next.

 

Sarah broke into racking sobs, and her parents promised they would face this dilemma together. Sarah began to rediscover her faith and reconnect with family. Still, she knew she couldn’t provide a stable home for her child. In seven months, she delivered a beautiful baby girl and did the most difficult thing a mother can do: she blessed a married couple with the miracle who was her daughter.

 

But self-loathing is insidious.

 

When Sarah returned to college, she got into another caustic relationship and found herself pregnant – again – less than a year later. Drowning in despair, Sarah finally faced the origin of her perceived disgrace. Through prayer, therapy, and support from her family, although she advises girls to avoid isolated encounters with boys, she came to realize the rape hadn’t been her fault, that she’d been a victim of a violent act.

 

Letting go of her shame gave her strength, so Sarah felt, this time, she might be able to be a good single mother to her child. But by the time her baby boy arrived, she knew what she had to do. The same loving couple who adopted her daughter, who had given her baby the kind of stability Sarah had no hope of providing, were overjoyed when she blessed them, again, with her son so that he, too, may have the life he deserved.

 

Today, Sarah works for an electrical company to pay the bills, but her passion is supporting other birthmoms. On her website, Sunshine in a Bottle, she shares her experience and insights. She also writes articles for “Big Tough Girls” (BTG), an organization that provides understanding, resources, and the strength of a community to women who have experienced difficult circumstances (See Sarah’s latest post: “Your Authentic Self”). Bethany Christian Services adoption agency just voted for Sarah to serve on the board for the Southern California chapter. She’s the first birthmom to join the board – ever. Sarah regularly accepts invitations to tell her story at conferences, galas, and fundraisers. Most recently, she’s been talking to clergy about giving presentations to youth groups and at church services.

Sarah's Modern Family
Sarah’s Modern Family

 

Over Memorial Day weekend last May, Sarah got to see her daughter, Ryanne, now 13, and son, Riley, age 11, with their parents at her

Sarah, Riley and Ryanne
Ryanne, Riley, and Sarah

brother’s wedding. The kids have known, for most of their lives, they were adopted, that their birth mother loved them enough to let them go, so they may have a life she couldn’t provide. Seeing her children after all these years, how happy and healthy they are, helped to heal Sarah’s heart. She’d made the right choice. Since then, the kids have kept in touch via Facebook and Twitter.

It’s been a long road, but Sarah Noelle has found a way to heal through faith, friends, forgiveness, and honesty – taking it a step at a time.

Young Latinas, Full Speed Ahead!

Hermanitas Graduation (2)Latinas, ages 12 to 18, enter the Hermanitas® program and find themselves on paths to futures they never dreamed possible. An affiliate of MANA, Hermanitas® meets once a month and provides one-on-one mentors, professional women who support the girls in reaching for the stars with the “Sí. Yo puedo.” or “Yes. I can.” attitude that gave me the idea for writing this blog.

 

An Hispanic girlfriend suggested I join MANA, the largest Latina organization in the United States when she found out the main character in my YA novels is a Latina, because, well, the character had to be; I couldn’t write her any other way. Hermanitas® gave me a venue for contributing to an awesome group of girls and allowed me to learn enough to develop my Latino characters with respect. Yep. For these past 5 years I’ve largely been the only white chick mentoring Hispanic girls. At times, I’ve felt a bit out of place, but the lovely ladies who run the program and the incredible young girls we mentor have mostly made me feel like I belong on their quest for success, right along with them.

 

On June 6, the Hermanitas®  Graduation at the University of San Diego celebrated fifteen Latinas’ admissions to community colleges, universities, and even the Ivy Leagues. Maria Mendez was the recipient of the MANA President’s Award and received a scholarship for her college education. Maria Olea was the Hermanitas’ keynote speaker and will be attending Cal Poly San Luis Obispo in the fall. She told the audience: “…I stayed [in Hermanitas® ] because there were people who saw things in me that I didn’t see in myself, and they provided the ‘how’ [to succeed].”

 

Director Celina Caprio received a standing ovation for her tireless service to Hermanitas as she passed the baton to Elizabeth Escobar for the coming year. “Everything I am is because I am loved and someone believed in me,” Caprio told the girls. “In the 9 years I have been fortunate to be a part of this program, I’ve witnessed shy girls finding their voice, goals taking shape and dreams…come true, [and] I want you to know…I believe in you. We believe in you.”

 

 

We have another 80 girls working hard in school with big goals and dreams. If you’re interested in becoming a mentor or contributing to the program visit http://www.manasd.org/. In the coming weeks, I hope to feature some of the mentors and hermanitas. You’ll love their stories. These feisty females are total badasses.

From the Pittsburgh Projects to Prosperity

Nick Nixon
Nick Nixon

Today, Nick Nixon, successful businessman, lives in Carlsbad, California in a beautiful house overlooking the ocean, but he was born in 1953 to young parents in Pittsburgh, and at times he lived in foster care.

“Thankfully,” Nick says, “my extended family kept the details of my parents’ whereabouts from me – [a] gift because I never held negative feelings toward them. I enjoyed life wherever and however I lived [although]…I remember the sadness of being separated from my younger brother.”

 

Eventually, his immigrant grandparents took in the boys. Nick delighted in becoming fluent in Greek and experiencing two cultures. Then in the middle of first grade, his mom showed up at his grandparents’ home to move him and his brother to a subsidized housing project. They grew up poor, often living on welfare, but he recollects a noisy, happy family, rich in love, caring, and hope. At his new elementary school, he tested above grade level, so they put him in second grade. He says he never thought about it until he couldn’t drive a car like other high school juniors. People didn’t expect much from kids who came from the projects, so Nick became competitive with grades to be as good as or better than the “rich” kids.

 

“To me, being rich was defined as anyone who lived in a house and/or had a car…,” Nick recalls. “No woe-is-me story here. I had a very good life – happiness was a choice I made early. And did I mention how very lucky I am?”

 

Coming from an immigrant, blue collar environment, he was expected to finish high school (maybe) and then go to work at the local steelNick at Dinner mill. Fortunately, he’d been too young after graduation to work in heavy industry, so he went to a local college during the day and worked nights at a mental health hospital as an aide. In witnessing some of those sad souls’ lives disintegrating, he learned to appreciate his own circumstances, however, the experience doused his aspirations to go into medicine. Since math had always come easily, he switched to engineering – except he soon realized he couldn’t afford to pay for school and support himself.

 

With a vow to finish college part-time, Nick packed up his car with everything he owned and drove to Hampton, Virginia to become an apprentice at Newport News Shipbuilding. He loved building submarines and aircraft carriers by day and going to school at night. College units slowly added up over the four years he worked in Virginia.

“They taught me how to work…,” Nick says. “I learned not only to be a starter, but more importantly, to be a finisher.”

 

Then recruiters came from another shipyard and offered Nick a job for almost double the money in Galveston, Texas where he worked on Jacques Cousteau’s ship “Calypso” and built offshore drilling rigs. Night school continued, but slowly, as the company shifted him between jobs in Galveston and New Orleans. It was then Nick discovered his wander lust, and he decided to travel the world before settling into a steady career or getting married.

 

In the 1970s he lived in Pennsylvania, Virginia, Florida, Texas, Louisiana, Alabama, and Connecticut. He settled in California in 1977, but along the way, he visited every state in the USA and province in Canada, traveling in his “Nick-built” van camper. He also backpacked in Europe for three months in 1976 and took an around-the-world journey for a hundred days in 1978.

 

“The word ‘xeno’ in Greek means ‘stranger,’” Nick explains. “I was xeno, a stranger, throughout my late teens and twenties, because I lived on the road alone…I learned happiness gets you past loneliness and …helps with making new friends, but loneliness can also lead you in the wrong direction. In my case, it contributed to making a very poor choice in marrying the first time.”

 

After 14 years of night school (without computers and on-line study) Nick completed his bachelor’s degree in 1984. Nick diversified his skills into transferable trades: as an iron worker, a production planner, a manufacturing engineer, and lower to mid management positions. All that education and experience led to founding his own businesses and eventually designing useful commercial products.

 

Nick’s motto: “Decide what you want and pay for it, not just with money [but] by working hard.”

 

Nick and Kathy at the Frozen Bar in Russia
Nick and Kathy at the Frozen Bar in Russia

Nick’s advice:

  • Be patient with your plans and goals, but be assertive with your actions.
  • Don’t fear change.
  • Learn skills that serve a worthwhile need to keep you employed (or become an employer).
  • Embrace a varied education to become a producer and life-long learner.
  • Surround yourself with those who are experienced and heed their advice. “Everyone can be a mentor if you listen and watch,” he points out.
  • Treat everyone with respect and awe (yes, awe) – unless they give you reason to fear – then run.
  • And finally, marry when you are emotionally ready. There’s no hurry. Marry your friend that dreams with you and cries with you; marry the friend that builds with you and fails with you. Plan together – and produce together. Change together – and love together.

 

Although Nick may not ever retire completely, because he’s always got his fingers in several pies, he enjoys family, friends, and beautiful sunsets in Carlsbad, California; that is, when he isn’t traveling the world with his truly lovely wife of thirty years and best friend, Kathy.

Scathing Book Reviewers? Screw them!

http://www.egmontusa.com/

Molly Jaffa, agent for Folio Literary Management
Molly Jaffa, agent for Folio Literary Management

Agent Molly Jaffa of Folio Literary Management sent me a proof for TABULA RASA, a debut novel by Kristen Lippert-Martin to be released September 23. I read Lippert Martin’s book and totally loved it, so I logged onto Goodreads to write a review and could not believe what I found. Some reviewers wrote glowing, positive recommendations for the book – like mine. Others, however, who totally missed the point of several scenes, in my opinion, wrote things about TABULA RASA that were ridiculous. One went as far as to say the author was racist.

 

Seriously? Come on!

 

The story is a nail-biting page-turner with lots of surprising twists about a sixteen-year-old Latina named Angel who has been undergoing experimental surgeries on her brain to erase her memories in a hospital located in the mountains somewhere. She’s been told by the doctors and nurses she should be grateful for the opportunity to be rid of the torment of her delinquent past, so she can start a new life. As she gets set for the final operation to become a true blank slate, or tabula rasa, the lights go out. Someone whispers a cryptic message and puts a handful of pills in Angel’s hand, moments before a bunch of commando guys rush into the secluded hospital spraying bullets, killing staff and other patients.

The premise is what nightmares are made of: memory loss and disorientation in the midst of gunfire and the discovery that

Author Kirsten Lippert-Martin
Author Kirsten Lippert-Martin

you’re the target. Angel is a kick ass heroine who takes the pills she’s been given and begins to remember bits and pieces of her life as she survives against incredible odds.

Kristin Lippert-Martin wrote draft after draft to create an excellent story, went through the arduous task of finding an awesome agent from a reputable literary firm to get behind her, and with the help of that agent, found an editor at Egmont USA to believe in her and her story.

 

Then before TABULA RASA even comes out, a reviewer publishes smack about how the computer-hacker-geek that Angel runs into, the love interest who helps her to survive this insane situation, says something silly about her being Mexican. The thing Thomas says isn’t mean, just clueless. The dialogue is congruent with his socially-challenged character, not at all racist. The reviewer grouses that of course the hero/sidekick who helps Angel with his amazing hacking skills is a white guy, however, she fails to mention that the evil character who has done her best to ruin Angel’s life, and ultimately tries to end it, is also white. Further, Angel’s memories of her deceased Latina mother are the sweetest, most endearing scenes. Her mother was probably my favorite secondary character. I’m sure you’ve guessed by now that the reviewer didn’t discuss Angel’s mother.

 

Race is a hot button for some people, though, even me sometimes. Late last year, I attended a seminar educating young Latinas about the political process and how they should get involved in their communities. The keynote speaker quipped that Barbara Boxer, our California senator, was “okay for a white woman,” which was insulting. I’ll never forget the experience of being one of the two white people in that audience. Maybe that grumpy book reviewer had a similar experience as a Latina, so she was particularly sensitive to the lame comment the character makes in TABULA RASA. His comment doesn’t bother Angel, and it’s surprising that it bothered the reviewer. The truth is, Kirsten Lippert-Martin’s book is an incredibly intense, fun read.

 

I hope people pay more attention to the positive reviews and treat themselves to the breathtaking ride that is TABULA RASA. Once the book comes out in September, I’ll post the link, so you can grab a copy and judge for yourself.